KoldKatz, CAPL, Free Shirts and Issues
Recently I went to find the KoldKatz vs ACS Barker aka Imitation ACS replay, but it seems that they haven’t uploaded it yet. Sian man, I really wanted to watch the first blood attempt where you have a Vengeful Spirit, Centaur Warchief and Venomancer getting it on a Keeper of the Light but in the end the tower got a double kill on Vengeful and Venomancer. It will probably come out tomorrow though, so the videos are expected to hit Youtube by tomorrow night courtesy of supermiloboi, just search for the tag, ”Most Hilarious First Blood Attempt”. Oh by the way, it’ll be labeled under comedy just so you know.
With Matthew the top farmer for KoldKatz at 40 creep kills, this 35minute loss to that PSLE T-Score cut-off point 188 shit school will be even funnier than the heavenly duo of PCK and Leonard Chew Pang Ngee in their new reality TV series, ”Moles”.

CAPL. It’s a Dota competition organised by Compaq in Orchard Cineleisure, it seems that all participants will receive a nice printed T-shirt from the kind sponsors. Ehren just told me and Foam about it this morning, and in our Pursuit of the CAPL Shirt like Will Smith and his afro-hair kiddy in the Pursuit of Happyness, we have managed to persuade Yun Cheng, the proclaimed Dota ”Stress-Reliever”, Eugene Peh the Leaves and Branches, and Timo the crazy wanker from Dunman High School which is currently owning our AHS balls. Going down to Cineleisure will be fun though, what a nice way to get a printed Polo Tee while playing at one of our Little Red Dot’s best LAN gaming centres. Just have to avoid the super honggan although rather hot student volunteers collecting donations, and the evil Bangladeshi spies trying to cut down trees to destroy our oxygen. Though it would be good to see a replay of Fiona Xie running down Orchard Road in her bikini. Man, wouldn’t it be nice if we had that z0r blue remote control from Click? Setting the play speed at 0.1x would sufficiently sastify the pangs of the hormonally-developed Singaporean male populace.

After socialising with Foam for a while, I have learnt that there are such thing as ”issues”. It’s like this great big mass of nothingness, similar to what’s in Chitandra the curry chef’s head, that you can lump all your problems into. Foam has issues almost everyday though, but being the composed student that I am, I get issues only once in a while, like the Vishnu-follower Chitandra suspecting us of feigning injury and sickness during his PE lesson. Okay fine, I admit that my legs weren’t really aching, in fact they felt quite comfortable after a 9 hour sleep the previous night and a substansial amount of extra-strong Tiger Balm. But when you have the ”sick” and ”injured” sitting in the middle of a hot field guarding your precious balls, you know something’s serioiusly screwed up. He then proceeds to display his obvious brainlessness by getting your poor ”unfit” classmates to act as defenders, though somehow he has managed to overlook the brightly coloured markers lying around the field. Speaking of Bangladeshis and Indians, Jeremiah shared with me this little joke about a Singaporean, a Japanese and a Bangladeshi being stuck in a desert. The Singaporean guy brought a lot of food, and told the others, ”If you are hungry, you can eat”. The Japanese had brought along a load of clothes, and told the two, ” If you feel cold, put them on”. Finally it was the Bangladeshi’s turn, apparently he had brought along a car door, and said, If you feel hot, you can wind down the window”. Ok I know it’s lame and cold like Cherng Ru, Chong Rui and Zong Zuo the cold trio, but sometimes being the smart Chinese( not China chaps for god’s sake) that we are, the dumbness of some Bangladeshis is just too great. He should really put on a yellow construction worker’s helmet and boots, and apply for a part-time job building one of the nearby terraces, then you would hear a lot of ”Neh” and ”Na” as you walk past the construction sites, as these two words seem to be the only vocabulary in your Indian’s Standard Dictionary.

Other than the invading Bangladeshis, I still have more issues. Like the Chemistry SPA. It was a crappish event from the start, I had forgotten to put on the cool blue goggles and to make things worse, I misread the instructions and ended up doing the experiment in the measuring cylinder. It’s lucky i bothered to check, otherwise I would have failed my SPA. So, I poured all the solutions into the 100ml measuring cylinder and there you have it, a large mess of swirling chemicals that would own your conceptual art designs any day. One word, z0r!

I don’t normally have issues with mirrors, but there’s this one mirror in front of the trophy cabinet that’s catching my attention. ”Be well-groomed at all times”, the sign above it proudly states. But it’s rather hard to achieve this goal, when you have two hard metal nipple-like protrusions on the male-type shirts. Having the new dri-fit PE T-shirt that screams ”China Dude” and those short ugly green shorts don’t help much either. A reminder to somebody, just be sure to keep your slitted cheongsams and tasteless suits away from the mirror, it just might crack.

One final issue here, the imitation of China chaps’ regular speech. Just a ”Hao” accompanied with China slang in Peng Zhi’s face will earn you a demerit, not to mention ”Kuai Le Shi Guang Guo De Zhen Kuai”, as it is considered an insult to them when you try to mimic their clearly superior China slur while speaking in Mandrin. It’s like preventing your 15-year bred China buddies from speaking English, as it is considered an insult to us when they try to mimic our clearly superior slangless English articulation. Ok, maybe only Miss Bo and her short tongue could be considered an exception. Take that communists.

CAPL and free shirts For The Win! With such a good lineup, that CAPL collared tee is as good as ours. Just be sure to avoid the Salvation Army bags.


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