This Post is also Dedicated to Yui

Tobidashita SUNIIKAA
Hito no nami ni sakarau you ni
Aruita Can I come back?
Dousureba yokatta darou?

Hanayaka na machinami datte
Shinde yuku kaerimichi
Crazy passion/Easy action
Uke tomete hoshi katta no ni

Namida no Merry.Go.Round kagayaki ni tomadou
I’m just a baby Oh! mind

Sayonara Merry.Go.Round aijou ga kara mawari shita
feeling is the Merry.Go.Round

Tachidomaru kousaten
Furimuke nai no kitaishite iru
Yasashi sa ni Can I come back?
Yudaneru koto ga dekinai

SHIGUNARU ga ao ni kawatte
Watashi wa mata aruki dasu
Doushita no? Is this all?
Oikakete hoshi katta no ni

Namida no Merry.Go.Round kagayaki ni tomadou
I’m just a baby Oh! Mind

Sayonara Merry.Go.Round aijou ga kara mawari shita
feeling is the Merry.Go.Round

Namida no Merry.Go.Round kanashimi ga tomara nai
I’m just a baby Oh! Mind

Sayonara Merry.Go.Round kesa naide sou negau dake
feeling is the Merry.Go.Round

One Yui song a post is gradually becoming the staple on this blog. What else did you expect? With the various depictions of Yui plastered all over the page, one could only come to conclude that the author must be a Yui-otaku. You’re right, actually. I’ve taken a liking to the clean vocals of Yui, and the soothing feeling I get from a majority of her songs. Some of them are filled with rock chords though, and those are simply splendid in their own way. If you didn’t already know, she’s only 21. That’s roughly the age when puberty’s development in females is brought to an abrupt halt. I feel sad. Really I do. Yui stands at a dwarfish height of 156cm, and this gives her the impression of a adolescent. This is amplified to the power of two when she’s holding one of her acoustic guitars. If only there was a way to reignite the growth hormones yet again. After a bout of intensive research, I have unearthed two solutions to this pressing matter at hand. The first, would be to pray and hope that a miracle happens. This coincidentally fails 100% of the time, so we shall skip to the alternative. Okay, it’s hard to put this across, reasons being that this is a family-friendly blog and we do not encourage the explicit description of the male or the female anatomy here. Let’s do this slowly.

1) Google Jolin Tsai’s first album cover
2) Google her lastest album, Dancing Diva
3) Compare the difference. You should get a result of at least 10cm.

As I thought about it in my chair of divinity, my omnipotence presented me with a thought so provoking it was bathed in a hue of all the ecchi mangas I’ve ever read. Do we really want another Jolin Tsai? At this time, I was playing Deal or No Deal on my mobile, and the scrooge of a banker offered me a sum of 56 dollars. The answer was clear. It was like a message delivered from the Messiah himself. Digging out the Swiss bank book I had stashed under my bed at the time of my birth for rainy days such as this, I constructed a plan that transcended all boundaries of human comprehension. The fabric of this brainchild is one of the most complex theories that exist in this universe, possibly esclipsing the possible election of Obama. We are planning to raze all figure enhancement salons in Japan to the ground. And by we, I mean me and the seven split personalities that co-exist within the same body. Be warned, I am ecchi and dangerous. Lock your doors and secure your closets, you never know when I might appear. I’d also like to take this opportunity to warn you of my powers of teleportation. Have you watched Jumper? Yes, I can do that, and more. I can also use the Shadow Doppelganger Jutsu from Naruto and put into action a molesting spree in Orchard Road. But I wouldn’t do that, because I’m a nice person, and we all know that nice people don’t take zoomed pictures with their swanky 5-Megapixel camera phones as they’re going up the escalator, with a pheromone-radiating female a few meters in front of your person. That’s just immoral and perverted, traits that adhere to the character of the person who has been leaving his bras and panties behind at the base of the staircase coming down from my school. It’s bad enough that they’re repulsive in terms of aesthetics. If you want something classier, try La Senza Express at Tampines Mall. Mind you, I had the misfortune of entering it once due to situational difficulties, and it’s something I’d never attempt to pull off again. Anyway, these bras differ from the norm because.. well, they’re meant for the well-endowed. It induces vomit, because the only people who’d wear these are fat indians who’ve consumed too much ghee, not that I have anything against the jolly folks of Mumbai and Co.

I have really gone off topic here, but let’s proceed to the ultimatum of this ingenious plan that’s been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. I call it, “The Destruction of Silicone Valley”. I hope you understand what silicone is. It’s not the element from the periodic table. It’s what Jean Yip uses for their treatments. By reading on, you pledge to partake in a revolutionary idea that will preserve the shape of humankind, literally speaking.

After packing the luggage, I will board my private plane for Japan. The reason for this is to evade security checks imposed by the government, and for that touch of sophisticacy. Upon arrival, I head into a public toilet to change into my ecchi personality. With the sheer boldness of this form, I’ll experience Japan to the fullest. It’s time to head for the peak hour train rush! Actually, we’re not going anywhere near there, because it’s a well-known fact that bullet trains are filled to the core with bullets that kill people. We will be heading for the Harajuku district of Japan, as it is considered the haven of revealing clothes, the epitome of ecchi. Another interesting fact to note would be the number of beauty parlours that litter the place around there. Remember, silicone is vulnerable to fire. That is why Jolin Tsai is banned from saunas. We shall draw first blood on the beauty parlours with the assault of fire! Upon decimation of the entire area, we shall return, not as revolutionaries, but heroes.

Of course, all great plans require ample preparation. That is why I’m going to bed now. Byebye.


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