To Cook a Roasted Bird

5 Quick Tips to a Successful Proposal

  1. Always be prepared with a ring at all times. I’d recommend one from the likes of Cartier, for maximum effect. However, if you’re ever short on your budget, a makeshift version from the capsule machine will do perfectly fine. It’s the thought that counts, or is it? 
  2. Flowers are superficial, superfluous, and supreme money-eaters. Instead of a bouquet of blasphemy, why not look for better alternatives? Lingerie, apartments and cute little electronics are a few examples. By electronics, I mean those that play music and stream videos of an erotic nature, not those that vibrate uncontrollably when connected to dry cells.
  3. Make a good impression. The folks will always choose the best for their precocious treasures. Even if the musings of an intellectual mean greek to you, there are still ways to pull off a look that forces the folks to assume that candidate #108 had just received his PhD barely a few moments ago. A simple way to get started would be to acquire a pair of half-rimmed spectacles. Next, pay a visit to your local Japan-themed shop and purchase a Cloud cosplay kit. With the Buster Sword in hand, you’ll surely slice away at the competition, and still cut a tomato.
  4. Never utter any taboos. Simple harmless phrases like “diu lei lo mo” could provoke heated reactions from the folks. Also, be aware that your sense of humour is vastly different from that of another person. We strongly urge all readers not to mention the term “buttocks”, if possible. You can’t just burst into song in the middle of a family dinner, going “Cos everytime I fart, my butt will vibrate..”. It just doesn’t work.
  5. Never, ever have a penknife in your hand. It gets worse if you somehow have latent Shinigami powers. Hell, if it can scare away two robbers with nose-hairs of steel, it’s practically a given that the folks will be knocked out. 

I wanna have the same last dream again

The one where I wake up, and I’m alive

Just as the four walls close me within

My eyes are opened up with pure sunlight 


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