Malaysia, Fucking not Asia

Okay, so I was away last week from Tuesday to Friday. My whereabouts could only be traced to a tiring coach ride up the Causeway, to the land of no yellow man. Alright, maybe there were a number of Chinese girls I spotted while over there that could give Singaporean girls a serious run for their money. In terms of having a good-looking populace, Japan ranks first as always, with Taiwan coming in a close second. Korean would score high, but there’s just something about the nuclear missiles that puts me off.

The destination was Malacca, and boy was it a sucky country. I tagged along for the camp that my church had organised, and lodging was at this supposedly new hotel known as Holiday Inn Melaka. It’s ranked as 3 stars out of a possible 5 in my book, since the elevators are really slow. You can wait five minutes and still not see an elevator arrive at your floor, though there are 3 on service.  Staff were generally courteous, a surprise since Malaysians are known to be corrupt pennygrubbers who fine you for driving at 70km/h on the highway. Seriously, I thought that at some point they would quote me a price of one rock for merchandise, ala Pedra Blanca.

Back to the point. They have Chinese girls studying in the Malaysian schools. Just kidding around here, but it probably wouldn’t be too hard to try and pick one up. I mean, the mall where they hang out is just a five minute walk from my hotel room, if you get the drift. And the thing is, they walk together in flocks. So you have like seven, eight cute girls in each group thronging the malls. I also got a taste of the poor selection in merchandise whilst I was there. The Palawan Mall which I went to was big, roughly around the size of Vivo City. Just as confusing to walk around in too. I was planning to pick up a Sony MP3 player, or a good-looking shirt from your typical mens boutiques. Disappointed. There were no decent retailers there, and their most crowded shop? Quiksilver.

The food over there was cheap though. Secret Recipe cakes were going at RM4.50 a bang. You can get like two slices over there for one slice here. I took advantage of this mismatch in currency, and purchased a slice each of Marble Cheese and Chocolate Mud. I regretted it later, however, when the gas started acting up again. They also have cheap Mcdonald’s restaurants too. EVMs go for RM8 upwards, and a solid MegaMac(a burger with 4 fucking beef patties) plus fries and drinks will only set you back about RM12. Holy nuts.

Another point to note. The piracy there is rampant. I located two bootleg DVD retailers at Palawan mall, and DVDs were going at RM6 a piece. Holy fucking shit. I picked up the Mayday JUMP concert DVD, Aska Yang’s Dove as well as the movie, 21. The quality was bullshit, as I soon found out. But for that price, what can you expect?

Bowling was cheap too. A game, together with a pair of shoes and purchase of socks, only cost RM5.50, as I found out when I went for a game together with some of the church people. Now, I normally don’t relish bowling, as I suck at it. Okay, to be fair, I’m like the Kobe Bryant of bowling; I do well in the early game but just screw up afterwards. I got a spare and a strike on my first and second turns respectively, but dismal performances soon followed. I ended with a score of 58, 30 of which were scored in the first two turns. Just fucked up.

The most fucked up thing? The hotel room. Let’s see. It looks just like any regular hotel room, just that there is a WINDOW connecting the toilet and the rest of the room. It is transparent from both sides, and is only shielded by a set of foldable blinds that can be controlled from the bathroom side. However, no matter how much you turn the knob, there is still a certain viewing angle that gives you full view of what goes on inside the bathroom. I found this out when I was at my room the first day, unpacking and stuff. I was like, WOW! Eager to test this finding out, I camped by the phone, waiting for an invitation to play cards in another room, hopefully one with girls in it. Success! A call came at around 11.30pm. I went to the room, and sat down in a corner near the window. Employing the tricks I used in Beijing, I hid cards in my sleeves and won about RM20 from those suckers in Blackjack. They didn’t notice that the aces were missing for the most of the game, though you have to give some credit to me. I’m good. Anyway, one of the females went into the bathroom for a little private time, and it was a score! Unassumingly, I peeked through for a split second, and caught sight of the girl sitting on the WC. My god. A voyeur-breeding country!

Terima Kaseh. 

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “Malaysia, Fucking not Asia

  1. wanzhen

    haha, hey!
    still super upset that Lakers lost by so much, GAH!
    love kobe though, haha 😀
    lol, why your team don’t have Garnett? (your post abt NBA08 on your psp)

    Mug hard!

  2. YINGZHI;D

    HOW CAN YOU BUY THE FAKE MAYDAY CONCERT DVD! I SPENT LIKE $35 FOR THE REAL ONE IN SINGAPORE! haha support mayday support the real one;D

  3. >that was before the celtics-lakers met… actually garnett is noob, support LEON POWE

    >buying original only widens the income gap between rich and poor economies, support piracy and contribute to malaysia! btw the what dandan is ashin’s girlfriend meh…… a bit lol

  4. YINGZHI;D

    yea dandan is really ashin’s girlfriend. although its a bit lol, but it gives hope to people like me( same catergory heh.) plus ashin is so handsome and he don’t go for looks okay!

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