Monthly Archives: August 2008

Working Class Hero

First of all, this is an entirely new post, even though the date might suggest the contrary. I got rid of the STOMP post, partially because I don’t exactly want to vision my blog as another of those lifestyle blogs that are already in plentiful supply. You don’t want to be another Xiaxue, okay? You want to be a Brown. He has the stuff, the original and kickass stuff. He produces solid podcasts that most can relate to. He rides a bike to work. Yes, you definitely want to ride your BMX like a monkey to school.

Today’s Teachers’ Day celebration was overrated; the band was alright, the games sucked like another ERP gantry that goes beep when you pass through it, the 4C performance was big on stage presence but lacking in actual substance, and the emo dance was a fail. You want dancers, you get the slimmer people to perform. That way, it looks better. The whole theme was kind of a fail also; why mix four mediocre songs together when you can just do a Rick Roll for the win? You just get your black guy jumping over the countertop, and it’s a win. The fail of the day was the Singapore Flyer trip for the teachers; it’s like telling them “Oh here’s your carrot, so no pay rise for this year.” You get your baby bonus, but you don’t get to keep your iron rice bowl.

The performance by the teachers was epic, though. When the music teacher(forgot the name) takes out her cello, you know she means business, alright? The vibrato was bliss, and the way the bass effect was pulled off made me think of getting a cello player for the band.

The class gathering was at 2. Jeremiah claimed that his primary school friend had changed so drastically, from a puny midget to a potential FHMer. Thing is, you learn not to place too much trust in him after a while, so..yeah. I noted the changes in a few, subtle or overwhelming. Leroy’s skin tone darkened so much that he now resembles a monkey. EHub is quite an interesting place to watch the human traffic pass by, actually. You have the monkeys playing on the travellators, the monkeys sauntering about reeking of cigarette smoke, and the monkeys that try, but somehow still fail. Getting into Death Race was a fail, so we got the tickets for Meet Dave instead.

Yeah so after the movie, we dispersed; some retreating to the comforts of home while seven of us headed over to the basketball court. Basically, we just did an AHS vs the rest kind of thing. Something to note is that you can’t play basketball in slippers. You have to take them off eventually, and after awhile your sole starts giving off sharp pains. Left the place at 8.30, went to central for some drinks and returned home.

Tomorrow’s plans include making a trip down to COMEX. For those of you who would choose to shun it due to the high human volume, you can check back here tomorrow; I’ll be getting some photos of the event as well as shots of product models. Both the girls and the technology, as a matter of fact. This year’s show features good bargains in the visage of LCD TVs(as usual), printers, laptops and digital cameras. You can probably get a decent entry-level DSLR for about 900, bundled with a wide angle lens. Things on the purchasing list include a 4GB Pro Duo for my PSP, a 1GB stick of RAM for the main coumputer and possibly a pair of studio headphones. Suntec has some decent boutiques, so it might be beneficial to start your prom shopping there, moving down to Bugis Street or up to the Orchard strip as per your budget. I must admit that the prom list I did a few days ago was quite the overkill, you don’t have Mastercard for the priceless experience. Your ammunition consists of Ishaks, and you should preferably have more of the bigger, blue Ishaks. Nobody likes a wallet that is all receipts but zero Ishaks.

Speaking of COMEX, I must say that don’t get what the majority of Singaporeans think. They want to be a part of the event, even though they don’t actually contribute by purchasing. They just want to squeeze you and hinder your movement, to the point where you want to go “honggan”. But you don’t, because its uncouth. So you go hua hee tio ho. Going off on a tangent, it could be beneficial to you if your surname is Lee, if you give speeches every once a year on the baby bonus, and if you just want to get the 1337 stuff to show off at your next speech from COMEX. Then, they might give way. Or would they?

If you haven’t figured out what the term “Monkey” refers to by now, it ostensibly gives the idea of a person that relishes in playing music; not Rick Roll, but tracks with deafening beats and fail techno, while commuting. It’s rather general, but you get the idea. The difference between a Monkey and a sofa, is that a sofa can support a family. It’s a condescending joke that you probably should not utter in public. They actually know that they’re Monkeys, but prefer to remain in self-denial anyway.

I want to continue with this post and develop it into another 1000-word post, but I really don’t have content to work with. It sucks. Oh, something just clicked.

Orals. Ah, the day that was supposed to be a win but resulted in a fail. We took the examination last Friday. The topic was stupid. You don’t just throw acting and an old folks’ home together, it just doesn’t work. I thought some of my ideas were good, actually. I mean, you have this guy trying to get the old people to play along, but he wasn’t exactly getting a suitable response. So, I pulled my “At this point, you can concur that he has sincerely failed” out, which was supposed to get approval. No response from either. Unnerving, and the thing is you don’t know how much they’ll give you. I paused once or twice, and it was at one of those instances that the invigilator changed the mark for conversation. Quite a bother, I must say.

Okay it’s still not reaching the word quota, but at this juncture I really don’t mind. I need some sleep, or some respite from typing walls of text. Today was a win, tomorrow will be a win, and Sunday will be the fail, because the nice girl from my Chemistry/Physics tuition class has transferred to another time slot. You still have to contend with the two idiots, one of whom carries a laptop bag with no laptop inside. The other talks and thinks he’s funny, but he’s not. He fails. You have a whiny noob who gets A2 for his Chem CA2, but the rest of his peers are getting A1, so he’s complaining every lesson. The other three are alright, at least they act sensibly and clam up. When even Green Day with +2 to bass can’t totally drown out the irritants that are the abovementioned, you know something has to be done. You need to zhng your technology, and you need to zhng them now. You need some serious, audiophile stuff. You don’t want your iPod earphones, because they leak sound like a sieve. You need a cello. They should really consider producing Cello Hero; it’d be a hit, it even has a nice ring to it.

——-Saturday morning’s addition——-

This is what you want to put on repeat for the whole day. Please watch the video, it’s classic. You must notice the nigga bartender character, he jumps with a leg-split posture, and flips over the counter-top a little while later. That, coupled with the rich to the point of being slightly cartoonish voice of Rick Astley, is a guaranteed win. It’s more win than Anwar getting elected into power. It’s like having Michael Phelps’s Speedos getting lined with lead, but he still takes gold anyway. That is in part due to two factors. The first being Poseidon carrying a spear to protect himself from Michael Phelps, and the second being Michael Phelps’s ability to divide by zero. He can. The rest of us just get stumped at “undefined”, or the more colloquially known “Syntax error”.

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Mmm…**ck

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Next 5 list of things you’d want for Prom Night

Getting ready for the big night when you finally get to bag a girl? You’ll definitely need to strut your best Bond schtick if female companionship is what you desire. The typical Singaporean would be faced with a dilemma as to what he’d want to aid him in his quest for the motherload. For that, you have to go high-profile. You can’t stick with the comfortable, household brand names like Toyota. That’s about as useful an a microwave oven, and could probably rival it in the excitability field. Instead of losing sleep over trifles, why not let self-satisfied professionals do the work for you? Today, we bring to you a compilation of the articles you’d require.

6. The transport

You’d want a stylish means of getting you to your desired venue, one that is zippy yet not too high on the decibels. Definitely, you can’t go with your WRX, because those are cheap and loud. They make you look like a Hamilton without the bling bling.

Nope, you don’t want to cruise to the hotel in anything resembling that, even if the destination is a substandard hotel. It’s like wearing a singlet for your trip to Tampines Mall.

Fret not; for those that care, there is always the Koenigsegg CCXR. This fine piece of automobile engineering will trump your run-of-the-mill Lamborghini any old day. Simply because those are generic supercars that most can identify with. So, you wouldn’t want one. See a GTR on the road? Floor the accelerator and deport that cheap attempt at a supercar back to suburban Tokyo.

This is the ultimate, the win. However, it lacks space for your other half. It is also unattainable; you won’t be able to flaunt this at your next Rally speech. Stick with the CCRX, or even the Chevrolet Camaro. It looks cool, and it transform into your personal Autobot at the touch of a button.

Transformers, more than meets the eye.

7. Date that quadruples the size of your ego

Okay, you need to have backup in the event that your gadgets and attire fail to impress even the most undesirable female in the room. At this point, you have sincerely failed. You then need to salvage the situation. By having hot stuff tagging along, you’re buying yourself a premium piece of insurance; even if you go unnoticed through the entire night, your date will soothe your bruised superiority complex by making you feel good. Besides, girls succumb easily to cognitive difference; one girl swoons over a Korean idol and the rest follow suit. There’s also the issue of jealousy and the spirit of competition. Hot girl accompanies guy, so the guy must be a top catch, see? You’d want Keeley Hazell tagging along; she is the hot. You don’t want Gong Li because she’s a MILF, and you don’t want Jessica Alba because she’s mainstream. End of discussion.

8. Kickass business phone that makes you look wealthy

You don’t want a damn iPhone. Those are for the people that join a queue just for the fact that it seems to stretch on further than the Great Wall of China. They are for the undecided. It has lost its exclusiveness, so we don’t want it. Instead, we opt for the HTC Touch Pro, a mobile that will bestow upon you the air of a businessman that trades by the million, and produces money like China churns out golds. With a slide-out QWERTY keypad, you can kick the ass of the people you see carrying iPhones, literally and well as figuratively.

9. Timeless timepiece

Every cool guy has to have one. Bond has one, so do Stark and Woods. Those are the legends. For the rest of us, we settle for the replicas. That certainly ain’t bad news. The Rolex Sea-Dweller DEEPSEA is what you want adorning your immaculate wrist. You don’t want Casio or Timex with those noobish digital displays, you want this. Just don’t get it stained.

10. Wallet that preferably contains a substantial amount of cash

If you’ve arrived at this point, you should shoot yourself in the balls if a sliver of a thought of bringing your canvas Converse along with the noisy Velcro strips creeps into your mind. You want class, and that’s where the leather Salvatore Ferragamo comes into play. The leather wrap wallet is the staple of the rich, the affluent, and the influential. When the females see you with one in hand, they know you mean business; they know you are loaded. This results in the win for you. Take the win, and check into the suite upstairs.

Unfortunately, this set-up will set you back by quite a bit, so I’d suggest saving up now.

For the first five entries in the list, head on over to http://whimsrhyme.wordpress.com

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Win Day

Today was a win day, other than SS everything went well. Question 1d was very badly done, I’d be grateful if I even get 4/7 for that. I didn’t do that well in the essay, left out some details due to rushing for time. But English was the win. Games=win. 35 minutes after the paper began, I had already completed Games and was thinking of slacking off for awhile before moving on to the letter. Letter also win.

WIN LA.

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LOL wtf is that

And, if you’ve been following the Olympics, Team USA is pwning in every game, SG’s paddlers have booked themselves a finals’ berth, and Phelps is on his way to medal eight.

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LOL wtf is that

And, if you’ve been following the Olympics, Team USA is pwning in every game, SG’s paddlers have booked themselves a finals’ berth, and Phelps is on his way to medal eight.

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Seven

Today was quite a fun day; headed down to Swee Lee @ Bras Basah to find a guitar to aim, as in target for future purposes. I found this.

sss

This is some pwnage. It costs 1431 before discount, which means it’ll be going for about 700 at the Swee Lee sale. The white trim around the black body makes it complete, and the model I was aiming had those mother-of-pearl designs on the fretboard, so its going to be a nice instrument. Debut with this equals win.

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