Prelims Lose

One local delicacy that has made headlines is mee siam. Mee siam is a mixture of Asian noodles, prawns, fish, lemongrass, sliced vegetables, and more recently, cockles. This addition was highlighted at the 2006 National Day Rant (NDR) by the son of Robo-Lee. The announcement sent shock waves through the market, and the price of cockles rose dramatically, trading at a peak of US$75 per kilogram of cockles.

Singapore’s population currently stands at 4.1 million. However, due to diminishing birth rates and ‘hidden’ migration out of Singapore, analysts predict that Singapore’s population will be no more than three individuals sitting under a coconut tree by the year 2050. Because of this, the government has become involved in raising the pregnancy rate by letting in loads of TKBs (a.k.a Tiong Kok Bu) from China and letting the horny locals marry them. But alas, these TKBs are here for the money only and instead of sticking to having sex with 1 man, they end up having sex with truck loads of men. This is evident along the streets of the Geylang, the capital of Singapore. In the end, this “Operation Foreign Pussies For Locals To Increase Population” has failed badly because the local married men also ended up cumming into these TKBs instead of their own wives thus causing the birthrate to decline even faster.

The people are expendable, especially those with physical disabilities, those with mental disabilities, ethnic Indians, ethnic Malays, homosexuals, Protestants, and the poor. People are Singapore’s greatest resource. Everyone can be put to good use. From road sweepers to high fliers, the system needs them all, in fact some unlucky Bastards are burnt as fuel to satisfy Singapore’s need for electricity. No one is excluded. No one is left behind. “No one”. This is because if you are behind you might be up to no good. So please stay in front where we can see you.

His Majesty’s job is to sit in his palace, drink kopi-O, eat prata, and cook curry fish head right after winning an uncontested election. The Prime Minister locks him in his palace and pays him $2 billion dollars a year to appease him and keep him out of politics. However, it was reported recently that His Majesty has taken an interest in animal politics, by his appearance at the passing of an iconic Orang Utang.

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