Monthly Archives: December 2008

Partial Voyeur Success

Partial voyeur success #1

Originally uploaded by Cartman2000

Someone’s always watching…


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Geeks R’ Cool

The recent paychecks have brought about a considerable influx of technology. Among the loot is the Cowon D2 that I collected from SingPost’s main branch at Paya Lebar two days ago, a Canon EOS 50D with a basic kit lens and a kickass pair of Ultimate Ears Superfi5 Pro earbuds. The Cowon basically zhngs my music up to another level of enjoyment, and the newly-purchased IEMs are pure aural orgasm.

I transferred most of the tracks that were in my old Samsung player over to the new kid, along with some stuff that I had wanted to listen to but sadly, did not find storage capacity for.

Stuff like:

  1. Perfect Symmetry by Keane. Officially the most lolcake album of the year with the defining song – Spiralling. Woo! Then you have the spoken word segment at the bridge. Nice enough to listen to for that funky feel though.
  2. A truckload of Mayday songs, ripped from anywhere from their maiden album to the latest one. Hokkien rock for the win.
  3. Other random one-shot songs that you buy the full albums for. All you actually need is a 320kbps rip. You might do well to consider the FLAC format, which is a lossless format for music. Unfortunately, that would result in an average 4 minute song taking up approximately 16MBs of space.

The D2 is a hot piece of tech. The screen, though small, displays images stored in the player’s flash memory very vividly. Videos work well too, but I wouldn’t recommend watching a full movie on the player. Touch interface is standard and subpar. I would liken it to using a LG Viewty.

The sound quality however, seals the deal without further questions asked. Running a 320kbps rip of Mayday’s 你不是真正的快乐 resulted in a very tonally rich opening. I used that track to test the mids and trebles, and they worked very well without those sharp pitches you sometimes hear when the vocalist attempts to hit a higher note.

I then used a high-quality version of Green Day’s Longview to test the bass out. Bass is there, just not overwhelmingly so. Which is just fine by me. Its bass response should be more than sufficient for die-hard haters of R&B. Wait, that’s me. The bass guitar opening was uber tight, and as the song progressed into its chorus there was very little distortion, unlike what I got from the Samsung. The D2’s built-in amplifier works amazingly well if you’re not planning on lugging an external amplifier around. It’s cool shit seriously. It comes with 8GB of flash memory with an option to increase the total memory by the use of SD cards, which integrate very nicely with the player’s onboard memory. Best of all? It cost just S$216. You can’t even get a noobshit Nano for that lulz.

The 50D is fun, perhaps too much so. It isn’t actually mine though. It’s more of a long term rental from the male parent. The equipment was acquired about 4 days ago from John 3:16 at Funan. I tell you, the staff there are provide perhaps some of the best service you’ll ever receive. Think of them as another Jaben, if you’d like. There is no pressure on you to purchase any of their products, and they seem like a nice bunch of people. There’s this community of photographers that spawned from their shop, and its members occasionally head back to HQ to render assistance to amateur photographers. Some of them are serious shit, while others are just weird. Weird as in..douchebag-like.

Anyway, I brought the 50D out to Orchard Road for a photo spree yesterday. The thing about DSLRs is, you can take pictures of completely random passerbys and they won’t think twice of the voyeurish act. I managed to get a couple of shots of CBF chicks, along with shots of the Christmas decorations along the premier shopping strip. They did notice the bulky shit pointing at them, but didn’t really seem to mind though. I got this shot of a girl from the back while her family was present. I had also wanted to get a shot in from the front, but that would be a tad too blatant for my liking. I prefer to do things slightly more subtly. Maybe I should get a 100-400mm telephoto lens and perma-camp at some place, snapping away at passing hot chicks. But then I realised that’d be a fail, because for every 100 girls you see in Singapore, roughly only 57 CBF-ed, less than 10 out of that 57 are seriously blazing hot, and to make matters much much worse, you can only get one out of the 100. Sometimes you win, sometimes you get fucked up bad. Life ain’t pretty.

I’ll get the photos up in the next post.

I hate my current job. It lasts me till the end of the month. The boss is a real fucktard, some fat fuck that smokes and has FUCKING BAD BREATH. His mouth smells like some chao ji bye, and that certainly ain’t pretty. He’s quite the dimwit as well, so sometimes we need to exterminate these pigs and make them into mince pies to be served at Christmas parties.

Lelong, $10 a pie. Made from au naturel mammal flesh.

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Bolt 3D & Twilight : An Overview

This is not a full-blown review. If you want to know more, pay $10 and go watch either of these two shitass films.

Truth be told, Bolt itself wasn’t a bad movie. The storyline was predictable; as are all Disney movies, but the animation and sincerity hit the mark, resulting in a 90-odd minute brainless joyride. During the trailers, I was reminded of yet another Disney fuckup – Hannah Montana. They basically had this preview of her live concert, featuring the Jonas Brothers as special guests. You have two major asswipe products of Disney commercialisation in one crap-packed show. You can’t exactly brand it a concert when you have four performers that can’t sing for the moment, you know.

Anyway, the 3D effects were a rip-off. I went into the cinema expecting things(and words) to fly out of the screen at high velocities. Suffice to say, I was utterly disappointed. By the way, the tickets for the 3D version of the movie cost an extra $3. Other than the uber-zhnged goggles from Dolby that we were provided with at the start of the show, I don’t see how the additional cost can be justified. Basically, what the 3D did was that it made the visuals seem less flat, at the cost of severely straining your eyes. At the 30-minute mark, my eyes were completely and irrevocably bummed out.

We had this little break at Mcdonalds before the second round. I had no idea that they had increased the price of their good ol’ Vanilla cone by 20 cents. I still remember when they only cost 25 cents a pop.

Twilight was..a joke. Most of you who have read the old Heritage page or actually bother to read my posts and get the gist of them will know that I absolutely abhor stuff like Twilight and Disney stars. Why then, did I get a ticket to a movie based off the former? Simply put, I needed a laugh.

I will spoil the movie for you just this once, because I can.

Basically, what happens is that this plain Jane moves into a new home, and subsequently a new school. She meets this gay vampire kid and they fall in love for no apparent reason whatsoever. Stuttery conversations ensue between the two of them, and about twenty minutes later they unofficialy become a couple. I wager that the plot was thought up whilst Ms Meyer was scratching her nuts on a dreary summer’s day. It is fucking shallow and sexist. The faggy vampire makes guys look like wimpy wieners, and the girl gives me the impression that any female would whore themselves off to a Rock Lee. What? You mean nobody noticed how caterpillar-like his eyebrows when they were drooling at his promotional poster?

There was a side-splitting scene in the movie. The homo-vampire attempted to deliver a Get The Fuck Out to the girl as he did not wish to endanger her life by accidentally canibalising her in a moment of folly.  I assumed that his aim was to scare her off. “You’ve got to see how I look like in the sun!”  So he brought her to this sunny spot on a mountain, walked into the sunlight, and suddenly his skin started glittering as if he were decked out in a pimp’s suit. As if him looking like a My Little Pony wasn’t bad enough, he added,

“This is the skin of a killer.”

I know people will still watch this despite how shitty it is with its horrendous soundtrack. To these, I bid a good day.


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I cordially invite…

Actually, scratch that. I’d rather spend the hours in line alone, accompanied with music than allow anyone the opportunity to bear the responsibility as my personal source of consternation. I guess I’ll see what happens on the 28th.

I just got updated. The tickets to their January concert will only be available on a first-come-first-served basis. You know what that means. It means that some campers will get their balls stomped on, some 五月天 fans will meet untimely demises, and any oppugnance whatsoever that I encounter on that day will be suppressed. Put down and culled. I’m going to get that free ticket if it’s the last thing I do.

I mean, I paid $18.95 for the album, that’s the least I deserve. As an informed consumer, I will milk my purchase for all its worth. I’ve got to end off now, a trip to the neighbourhood Ammu-Nation is in order. I suggest you get out of my sights before I put a 9mm in your skulls.


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Screw you guys, I’m going home

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Peasant trying to mess around?

Some random dood with an e-mail address of dropped a ridiculously long dagger on the ACJC post, one which had its cover shut a long time ago.

Or so he thought.

The retort effectively conveyed nothing more than his peasant mentality and his willingness to employ violence(blanket parties, lulz) in order to put his points across. The rest of his stands were nonsense. I hereby dismiss this screwball as yet another conformist, a worthless wad of utter aimlessness that is satisfied with the current state of the world as it is today and believes that the government is out to make improvements to his already brilliant life.

I believe I know this dipshit; I have heard the name somewhere before. There is a high probability that he attends the same church as I do. Currently, I am in the process of verifying his identity. If all leads point to a perfect match, I would like to send sincere condolences to his family. I’ll take that bitchass Meridian JC peasantfuck and smash his balls with a sledgehammer.

Oh. If you’re reading this, here’s my adequate response.

Know your place, bottomdweller of the caste. You have been stratocasted from day one. It’s a pity this planet has to support the lives of scum like you. A wipeout might be in order. I’ll leave it pending for now.

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I suppose I’m late in getting a post on Prom Night up, but that’s fine. It wasn’t really a night worth remembering anyway.

After being held up by an irate traffic policeman, a sloppy hairdresser and the untimely rain, I had given up all hope of getting to the venue at the specified time. Meeting time at the hotel was arranged at 4.30pm, just an hour away from the moment I returned home. Rummaging through my closet, I got out the shirt and tie, put on some pants and rushed to the other wardrobe for my socks. In my flustered state, I had forgotten to snag the belt, something which I would regret later. A cab ride from my street to Tampines Mall racked up an unholy 6 dollars, and the cumulative amount once it arrived at the hotel in question was 18 smackeroos.

Talk-cock-sing-song sessions took place before the event actually began. The majority of us had expected Kevin to arrive in something that would leave us all in peals of hysterical laughter, and true enough we were not disappointed. Samuel, Tiong Ho and the guest-of-honor arrived together. The fat man was decked in a red shirt; which would be accompanied by a borrowed tie later on, black pants and leather shoes. Tiong Ho went for a checkered top, with a bottom suit that roughly matched Samuel’s. Following them up the escalator was a dood wearing a stained grey polo tee, track pants and those white school shoes that you can acquire at the market for a good price. Those of us gathered near the escalators took this cue to unload maniacal shrieks that were audible to all but the tuckshop boy, who as usual had his in-ears on.

The time inside the ballroom wasn’t that bad. The food was painfully average, something that I would not be willing to fork out more than 60 dollars for. Dessert was this chestnut paste affair, which was horribly gelatinous and unpalletable. The steamed fish was sea bass, as expected. Something reeks of low budgets. Points of amusement for me came when Kevin was psycho-ed into going on stage by the overzealous emcee, and when they announced the best-dressed female. There are some things that you should not joke about.

I couldn’t be bothered with the mass dance. Left the ballroom and proceeded to the lobby for another TCSS session. I didn’t want to be in too many photos, reason being most of them were using flash to compensate for their lack of expertise in controlling the light settings. The end-product would come out shitty anyway, probably with my eyes half-closed or something along those lines, so why bother? Some of them I could put up with, but others were just too bright, leading to an involuntary blink coupled with an awkward expression. I suppose apologies are due to those who had the misfortune of being alongside me in a number of fail shots. I will bring my along own tools for future photo shoots, so do not worry too much about that. Plus I looked like a wannabe punk without my belt on and my shirt out as a result. Definitely something to forget.

I was supposed to have a job at SITEX the following day, but I went and did the improbable anyway. Roaming the streets with some chaps and a girl was a very bad idea. I had to leave at 3.30am, when the fatigue started to sink in. A taxi ride back to my house cost me somewhere near 20 dollars. I would just have to accept 4 measly hours of rest before the manic rush began.

The first day was more about getting myself orientated with the layout of the place and of course, the laptops. Dell is a tough brand to market, possibly even more so than obscure ones like Acer. Of couse, the redeeming feature of Acer is that they provide good performance at low prices. People somehow are lured by this little gimmick, ignoring the totally badass customer service and product quality. Oh, that and the 4GB of RAM. I had to repeatedly explain to naive passer-bys that a 32-bit Vista only supports up to 3GB of RAM, and that the extra gigabyte of RAM was just another foolish trick at attracting buyers. Note that I used the term passer-bys instead of customers. I had to expound like a thousand times on how netbooks did not come with optical drives and are not to be used as a means of mobile storage. I had to endure a total dookie insisting that I throw in a copy of Microsoft Office along with his laptop purchase. The most fucked-up shit of the whole fiasco was this pair of elderly men who supposedly had 5000 dollars in the depths of their mouldy pockets. They spent about 2 hours walking along the perimeter of our booth comparing laptops, looking for something top-of-the-range. One of them was a complete dimwit, and the other was a chump attempting to flaunt his sub-par knowledge of IT products.

“I am greedy, I want everything to be the best. Did you know that Vista has a hidden game?”

Many of my colleagues had given up hope of these douchebags even purchasing a set. Me? I tagged along with the fools, looking to draw pleasure from answering their queries with cynical retorts.

“You want everything the best? I recommend you this website, You go there and select all the best specifications for your laptop. I think your $5000 also not enough to cover.”

$5000 ain’t no big deal. These days, $5000 won’t even get you a Malaysian girl or a cashier girl, as derived from my own experiences. The absolute disinterest I had in those peasants flooding the show mulled my senses into an ideal state of boredom. Some people were just there to waste 10 minutes of my time. The first few I could put up with. You give me 20 of these fuckers in a day and expect me to be satisfied with a shitty $40 basic wage? After a while, you can actually tell whether or not a person expresses interest in purchasing your product. To the peasants, I gave this very blatant F.O. look. A majority of them came with specification sheets from other retailers like Asus and Toshiba, which had products priced similarly to ours. Eee PCs kill the Inspiron Minis, I rest my case. However, you don’t just take a low-end Toshiba and compare it with a Dell. A Toshiba/Fujitsu/Sony that doesn’t cost over $2000 is probably fucked up sufficiently to ensure that you’ll be regretting your purchase in a few years to come. Our products were weak, our bundles were unappealing. The best performer of the booth was this 19-year old girl with a decent figure and a forgettable face. I have no idea as to how she sold like she did, but the few colleagues that I had come to know over the four days had some clue.

“You know when she raises her hand to play with her hair, her bra is exposed? It was red yesterday, and black lace today.”

I saw the black lace too, when she was taking a drink of water. Risque, and effective.

The boredom which I spoke of earlier caused me to develop interest in the females around me.

  1. Everyday girl. Situated near the Dell booth. Owes me a lot, debt currently pending.
  2. Girl with good figure, passable looks. Working at the Compaq booth.
  3. Girl located near the Dell booth. Awkward face that is somehow a turn-on. Another of my colleagues. Nice lips.
  4. Girl promoting Maxtor hard drives. Cute eyes and short hair. I had initially planned on asking for her number, but this notion had to be discarded after I noticed a beng caressing her lower torso. An inquiry revealed that she was attached.
  5. Girl promoting Seagate hard drives. Very confusing look, I must say. Good from certain angles, plain from others.

Girl 1 perma-camped at the front of the booth, luring in customers with a typical blur face. The ends of her long strands of jet-black hair are curly, something that demanded my attention from day one. She shall be exploited for the greater good in my future endeavours.

Girl 2 I didn’t know that well, just someone whose attention was drawn to me the day I went around GTA-ing the show.

Girl 3 was such a flirt. She looked like the shy yet loose type. Her lips looked like they were made to be wrapped around……..a lollipop. No number given, as she escaped whilst I was out scavenging for freebies on the last day of the show. No matter, I shall get it when we collect our paychecks.

Girl 4 belonged to the beng. Not worth the time and effort to GTA.

Girl 5 wasn’t a factor after a while, the main reason being her deceptive angles.

The grand heist which involved scavenging(no theft) brought me a Toshiba jacket, a piece of protective film, many pieces of environmentally-friendly bags, two notebooks, a thermal bag and very nearly, a 500GB portable hard disk. Perhaps it is true that the best bargains can only be acquired at the last minutes.

I saw many people from AHS at the show. Brendan and Young Yee were slogging their asses off at the nubox booth, barely selling 5 units between them. I liked the atmosphere over there in poor man’s land. There were some others at the Asus, Fujitsu and Lenovo booths. I heard the Lenovo guys had a bad time. Guess it was a good idea to jump ship to Dell after all.


The first and third guys from the left are the pinkies, and the other dood is the brain. Notice how I’m in cargo whilst the rest of them are sporting jeans. Thus reflects my attitude towards Day 4 of SITEX 2008.

Besides these guys, there were two lians and a beng at the booth too. Those were nice people, though their appearances might suggest otherwise. It’s not often you get a softcore beng-lian combination.

The next few days will be spent looking for a job. Should all avenues remain closed to me, I might perhaps be coerced into working at Subway. $4.50 an hour is not what I expect for my services, but I shall have to make do, for now at least.

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