I suppose I’m late in getting a post on Prom Night up, but that’s fine. It wasn’t really a night worth remembering anyway.

After being held up by an irate traffic policeman, a sloppy hairdresser and the untimely rain, I had given up all hope of getting to the venue at the specified time. Meeting time at the hotel was arranged at 4.30pm, just an hour away from the moment I returned home. Rummaging through my closet, I got out the shirt and tie, put on some pants and rushed to the other wardrobe for my socks. In my flustered state, I had forgotten to snag the belt, something which I would regret later. A cab ride from my street to Tampines Mall racked up an unholy 6 dollars, and the cumulative amount once it arrived at the hotel in question was 18 smackeroos.

Talk-cock-sing-song sessions took place before the event actually began. The majority of us had expected Kevin to arrive in something that would leave us all in peals of hysterical laughter, and true enough we were not disappointed. Samuel, Tiong Ho and the guest-of-honor arrived together. The fat man was decked in a red shirt; which would be accompanied by a borrowed tie later on, black pants and leather shoes. Tiong Ho went for a checkered top, with a bottom suit that roughly matched Samuel’s. Following them up the escalator was a dood wearing a stained grey polo tee, track pants and those white school shoes that you can acquire at the market for a good price. Those of us gathered near the escalators took this cue to unload maniacal shrieks that were audible to all but the tuckshop boy, who as usual had his in-ears on.

The time inside the ballroom wasn’t that bad. The food was painfully average, something that I would not be willing to fork out more than 60 dollars for. Dessert was this chestnut paste affair, which was horribly gelatinous and unpalletable. The steamed fish was sea bass, as expected. Something reeks of low budgets. Points of amusement for me came when Kevin was psycho-ed into going on stage by the overzealous emcee, and when they announced the best-dressed female. There are some things that you should not joke about.

I couldn’t be bothered with the mass dance. Left the ballroom and proceeded to the lobby for another TCSS session. I didn’t want to be in too many photos, reason being most of them were using flash to compensate for their lack of expertise in controlling the light settings. The end-product would come out shitty anyway, probably with my eyes half-closed or something along those lines, so why bother? Some of them I could put up with, but others were just too bright, leading to an involuntary blink coupled with an awkward expression. I suppose apologies are due to those who had the misfortune of being alongside me in a number of fail shots. I will bring my along own tools for future photo shoots, so do not worry too much about that. Plus I looked like a wannabe punk without my belt on and my shirt out as a result. Definitely something to forget.

I was supposed to have a job at SITEX the following day, but I went and did the improbable anyway. Roaming the streets with some chaps and a girl was a very bad idea. I had to leave at 3.30am, when the fatigue started to sink in. A taxi ride back to my house cost me somewhere near 20 dollars. I would just have to accept 4 measly hours of rest before the manic rush began.

The first day was more about getting myself orientated with the layout of the place and of course, the laptops. Dell is a tough brand to market, possibly even more so than obscure ones like Acer. Of couse, the redeeming feature of Acer is that they provide good performance at low prices. People somehow are lured by this little gimmick, ignoring the totally badass customer service and product quality. Oh, that and the 4GB of RAM. I had to repeatedly explain to naive passer-bys that a 32-bit Vista only supports up to 3GB of RAM, and that the extra gigabyte of RAM was just another foolish trick at attracting buyers. Note that I used the term passer-bys instead of customers. I had to expound like a thousand times on how netbooks did not come with optical drives and are not to be used as a means of mobile storage. I had to endure a total dookie insisting that I throw in a copy of Microsoft Office along with his laptop purchase. The most fucked-up shit of the whole fiasco was this pair of elderly men who supposedly had 5000 dollars in the depths of their mouldy pockets. They spent about 2 hours walking along the perimeter of our booth comparing laptops, looking for something top-of-the-range. One of them was a complete dimwit, and the other was a chump attempting to flaunt his sub-par knowledge of IT products.

“I am greedy, I want everything to be the best. Did you know that Vista has a hidden game?”

Many of my colleagues had given up hope of these douchebags even purchasing a set. Me? I tagged along with the fools, looking to draw pleasure from answering their queries with cynical retorts.

“You want everything the best? I recommend you this website, You go there and select all the best specifications for your laptop. I think your $5000 also not enough to cover.”

$5000 ain’t no big deal. These days, $5000 won’t even get you a Malaysian girl or a cashier girl, as derived from my own experiences. The absolute disinterest I had in those peasants flooding the show mulled my senses into an ideal state of boredom. Some people were just there to waste 10 minutes of my time. The first few I could put up with. You give me 20 of these fuckers in a day and expect me to be satisfied with a shitty $40 basic wage? After a while, you can actually tell whether or not a person expresses interest in purchasing your product. To the peasants, I gave this very blatant F.O. look. A majority of them came with specification sheets from other retailers like Asus and Toshiba, which had products priced similarly to ours. Eee PCs kill the Inspiron Minis, I rest my case. However, you don’t just take a low-end Toshiba and compare it with a Dell. A Toshiba/Fujitsu/Sony that doesn’t cost over $2000 is probably fucked up sufficiently to ensure that you’ll be regretting your purchase in a few years to come. Our products were weak, our bundles were unappealing. The best performer of the booth was this 19-year old girl with a decent figure and a forgettable face. I have no idea as to how she sold like she did, but the few colleagues that I had come to know over the four days had some clue.

“You know when she raises her hand to play with her hair, her bra is exposed? It was red yesterday, and black lace today.”

I saw the black lace too, when she was taking a drink of water. Risque, and effective.

The boredom which I spoke of earlier caused me to develop interest in the females around me.

  1. Everyday girl. Situated near the Dell booth. Owes me a lot, debt currently pending.
  2. Girl with good figure, passable looks. Working at the Compaq booth.
  3. Girl located near the Dell booth. Awkward face that is somehow a turn-on. Another of my colleagues. Nice lips.
  4. Girl promoting Maxtor hard drives. Cute eyes and short hair. I had initially planned on asking for her number, but this notion had to be discarded after I noticed a beng caressing her lower torso. An inquiry revealed that she was attached.
  5. Girl promoting Seagate hard drives. Very confusing look, I must say. Good from certain angles, plain from others.

Girl 1 perma-camped at the front of the booth, luring in customers with a typical blur face. The ends of her long strands of jet-black hair are curly, something that demanded my attention from day one. She shall be exploited for the greater good in my future endeavours.

Girl 2 I didn’t know that well, just someone whose attention was drawn to me the day I went around GTA-ing the show.

Girl 3 was such a flirt. She looked like the shy yet loose type. Her lips looked like they were made to be wrapped around……..a lollipop. No number given, as she escaped whilst I was out scavenging for freebies on the last day of the show. No matter, I shall get it when we collect our paychecks.

Girl 4 belonged to the beng. Not worth the time and effort to GTA.

Girl 5 wasn’t a factor after a while, the main reason being her deceptive angles.

The grand heist which involved scavenging(no theft) brought me a Toshiba jacket, a piece of protective film, many pieces of environmentally-friendly bags, two notebooks, a thermal bag and very nearly, a 500GB portable hard disk. Perhaps it is true that the best bargains can only be acquired at the last minutes.

I saw many people from AHS at the show. Brendan and Young Yee were slogging their asses off at the nubox booth, barely selling 5 units between them. I liked the atmosphere over there in poor man’s land. There were some others at the Asus, Fujitsu and Lenovo booths. I heard the Lenovo guys had a bad time. Guess it was a good idea to jump ship to Dell after all.


The first and third guys from the left are the pinkies, and the other dood is the brain. Notice how I’m in cargo whilst the rest of them are sporting jeans. Thus reflects my attitude towards Day 4 of SITEX 2008.

Besides these guys, there were two lians and a beng at the booth too. Those were nice people, though their appearances might suggest otherwise. It’s not often you get a softcore beng-lian combination.

The next few days will be spent looking for a job. Should all avenues remain closed to me, I might perhaps be coerced into working at Subway. $4.50 an hour is not what I expect for my services, but I shall have to make do, for now at least.


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