Fuck 2009, good riddance to 2008

Hor yum hor?

This post will be a bit..irrelevant. Read on only if you seriously feel like doing so.

People are embracing the transition into the new year, which leads me to the tried-and-tested question. What the fuck? Let’s recount how shitty these past few days have been.

I quit a job somewhere around the third week of December 2008. The job scope had been to promote some lame RC car that supposedly clings to the wall when powered on. It retailed at $29.90, and is constructed out of flimsy, cheap plastic. Its the kind of product that seems to scream “I SUCK ASS” at potential buyers. Finally, it comes in four bright colors. Why the fuck would anyone want to draw attention to this shitty piece of product. One more thing, it looks shittier than it sounds in writing. Would you fucking buy it?

Okay so I get lambasted for poor sales, fucking funny when the shop that I was dispatched to sold only about 8 units the week before my arrival. Within my first two days, I had already cleared 10. By the end of the fucked up week, close to 40 had left the store. You know what the fucking smoker of a supervisor said?

“This is a fun and innovative product? Don’t give excuses for your incompetence.”

I got this crap on the second week. At this point I had already blown two nerves and counting. The days were mainly spent pacing the entrance of the store, which is located at Harbourfront, promoting the toy to anyone who bothered to give a fuck. I talk, and if they aren’t sold, what more can I do? The fucking product is so overpriced and shitty that I did not even have the confidence to sell it at first. The third nerve blew. I snapped back at the fucker, told him off for his smoking habits and taking one too many smoking breaks, flamed his fucking products and the entire job in general. I attacked his attitude and mindset, the latter of which was so flawed that it assumed hiring an assistant would have the miracle pill effect of boosting sales by a few hundred percent. Well fuck you. I demanded my pay in the form of a cheque by the end of the week and stormed out of the fucking place. Apparently he got the message, because the other supervisor(a much nicer person) gave me a call a while later and told me to cool down. She apologised for her colleague’s foul temper and assured me that a cheque would be written out to my name the following day. Apparently I’m wasn’t the first person to quit the job prematurely; a Malay kid previously fell out with the fucker and left in the exact same fashion. I picked up payment the next day, for an addition of $256 into my coffers.

Then there was the fucked up nett loss at Jaben. So I walk into the shop looking to buy the Ultimate Ears SF3 Studio, a decent set for the price according to the reviews. I auditioned them and was extremely let down. They cost near $140 and didn’t sound significantly better than my current CKM50s, which I had acquired at $73. Thus lead me to ask for suitable alternatives. They passed me a few quirky-looking phones without revealing any of the pricings, and eventually I found myself with a pair of opaque black phones that could pass off as the SF3 I tried earlier, externally at least. I screwed them into my ears(literally), and gave Hotel California a whirl. FUCKING SWEET. I put on some mainstream C-pop next. Jay Chou, Wang Lee Hom, the likes. FUCKING SWEET. I finish off with some J-pop, more of the vocal songs. FUCKING SWEET. Lastly, I scroll to November Rain, and fast forward to the solo. FUCKING HEAVENLY SWEET. I unscrewed the fucking bulky shit from my ears and demanded for the price.

The guy grins from ear to ear, his expression completely giving away his thoughts.

“$299.”

WHAT THE FUCK MAN? LOL FUCK SHIT BUDGET X2 WHAT THE FUCK!

I then proceed to search for a cheaper solution, but all off the phones I had tried on previously sounded like bullcrap compared to the $299 phones. I had been “poisoned”, as the folks at Jaben like to call in when an unsuspecting buyer tries on some equipment and is irreversibly hooked. As you might guess, this pair of phones is the SuperFi 5 Pros, which is also coincidentally my current favourite piece of technology.

I don’t blame Jaben for selling this to me. The staff were friendly and did not pressure me to buy anything. Hell, I sat there for an hour listening at a snail’s pace, and there was no sign to show that my presence in the area was unwanted. I just blame myself for setting expectations that aren’t easily fulfilled. Sometimes, my demands don’t get met and I get pissed off. Guess I know where one resolution’s going to go to. I’m not just limiting this to just inanimate objects. You figure out the rest.

Then, the first few moments of my 2009 life were spent………..waiting at a playground located near a certain MRT station. LOL FUCKING WAITING FOR DOODS THAT STAYED 3 HOURS AT DOWNTOWN EAST FOR THE COUNTDOWN ONLY TO LEAVE AFTER RECEIVING OUR INCESSANT CALLS. FUCK LOL TWO SAD GROUPS OF FUCKS. THEY PROBABLY WENT LIKE “HAPPY 2009” IN THE MRT CARRIAGE WTF LOL. WHILST I SPENT THE LAST FEW MOMENTS OF 2008 CYCLING ROUND A TRACK IN KEMBAGAN. Singtel completely crashed after midnight of 2009, resulting in a single SMS taking at least 20 minutes to arrive at its intended recipient’s inbox. The little sleepover was a little fucked up, we slept at fucking 6.30am and fucking woke up at 9.30am. 5.30am WENT TO SOME EUNOS MACDONALD’S TO EAT MEGA MCGRIDDLES SIOL WHAT THE FUCK! Morning wake up sing LOVE STORY LIKE TWOCHINESEBOYS OMFGWTHBBQ in KaraokeParty and GOT some 5.3k SCORE SINGING IN PAINFULLY UNBEARABLE FALSETTO LOL FAIL. FUCKING SING UNTIL EVERYONE WAKE UP WTFLOL.

Second day, and my Singnet 10Mbps BroadBand connection crashes. I’m in Garena passing the time when this fucking “You have been disconnected” pop outs after a few seconds of lag. My attempts to reconnect were met with epic failure. It’s finally working now, thank god.

9th of January. That’s when the results will be released. I’m going to go “PRAISE GOD WOOHOO” if my name appears on the projected Powerpoint slide, seriously. I’m going to start visiting church like I did as a young kid. Hell I may even get baptised.

Things happen. Then they might change. Most times they do, too quickly in fact.

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